Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Panic
So yesterday I bought a bag of pot when I was at work, as is my usual procedure. But after I bought it, I realized that with the new initiative of police searching bags in NYC, it may be wise to avoid the subway altogether on the way home. I decided to take a cab.
Well, I left my office and got to Broadway when I realized that I didn’t have enough money to take a cab. “Fuck it”, I thought. I’ll be fine. What are the odds that I’ll get my bag searched today!?” So I entered the subway and to my surprise there were two policemen standing at the turnstiles leading to the trains. For some reason, I immediately panicked and thought “It’s too late to run away, but I can’t go past them! They’ll figure me out!”
So for some reason I decided to walk over to the vending machines that sell the subway passes. I clearly had my pass already in my hand and the cop watched me act all sketchy and walk to the vending machine. Once there I realized that it was ridiculous for me to buy ANOTHER pass when I had just purchased an unlimited ride card in the morning. So then I turned around and walked back to the turnstile pretending as though I walked over to the machine out of confusion. As soon as I went to swipe my card through, the cop says “You, come here.”
My heart IMMEDIATELY starting pounding out of my chest and I said “Yes”?
Cop: “I need to search your bag.”
Me: “What if I say no? Then what happens?”
Cop: “That is your right, but then you have to leave the subway immediately.”
Me: (Realizing that I needed to get on the subway and that I needed to let him look into my bag – I came up with the perfect game plan on the spot) “Of course you can look in my bag. (I open my bag while still talking) I think it’s so great that you guys are checking bags and looking out for our safety.”
Cop: (Looking quickly through my bag, but obviously more interested in hearing me compliment him) “Thank you. A lot of people have a problem with it.”
Me: (Shutting my bag quickly and attempting to swipe my card) “Well I think it’s just great. (Screwed up my first swipe and tried again) Thanks again! I appreciate it.”
Cop: “No problem at all. Have a good day sir!”
I ran into the subway with my drugs safely tucked away in a side pocket. HOLY FUCK. I was petrified at that moment. I mean, what would have happened if he had asked to look in the side pocket of my bag and found the pot? Although I’ve heard from other people that they aren’t legally allowed to arrest me on the spot for that, I have a hard time believing it. I am sure that I would have been handcuffed and led out of the subway, convict style.
Needless to say, everywhere else I went last night, I took a cab. Sheesh! I don’t remember the last time I was that scared. I swear my sphincter was pulsating with fear. Had I been busted, I would have surely crapped my pants. And who wants to go to jail with poop in their underwear?
Yesterday was a very long day overall. I hung out with two different groups of people in a matter of 4 hours. It was rush rush and totally fun. When I got home at 11pm, I shoved my face with some leftover chicken and rice pilaf, washed my face and brushed my teeth and threw my self face down on the bed. I didn’t move until 6 this morning when I woke up feeling as though I hadn’t slept a wink. Luckily I laid there for an hour and a half stressing out about absolute nonsense. I fucking hate when that happens. I’ll tell myself to calm down and even try to clear my mind, but once I’m awake with anxiety, I’m awake for the duration.
Today I feel exhausted. I had therapy and the first thing I said when I sat down was “I got nothing for you today.” Sophie responded with “No problem at all. We can sit here in silence if that’s what you need today.” And I was like “Oh yeah. I paid $50 to sit in silence.” So then I talked to her about my frustration with hetero vs. homo. It was a really great conversation and the time kind of took off after that. Before I knew it, it was time to leave and get back on the overly crowded and humid subway.
Now I’m back at my desk and struggling to keep my eyes open. I have so much work to do today and although I’ve been busting my ass all morning, I haven’t really completed everything. It’s like I’m multi-tasking so well that I’m not entirely finishing any one thing. Now THAT’S effective multi-tasking.
Tomorrow I have to have lunch with my boss. It’s one of my most dreaded hours of the whole year. I can’t stand going to lunch with him. Probably because I can’t stand him. Whatever, I’ll suck it up and hopefully I won’t have to eat with him again for another 6 months.
Alright, I’m out of here. I’m even boring myself at this point.
So yesterday I bought a bag of pot when I was at work, as is my usual procedure. But after I bought it, I realized that with the new initiative of police searching bags in NYC, it may be wise to avoid the subway altogether on the way home. I decided to take a cab.
Well, I left my office and got to Broadway when I realized that I didn’t have enough money to take a cab. “Fuck it”, I thought. I’ll be fine. What are the odds that I’ll get my bag searched today!?” So I entered the subway and to my surprise there were two policemen standing at the turnstiles leading to the trains. For some reason, I immediately panicked and thought “It’s too late to run away, but I can’t go past them! They’ll figure me out!”
So for some reason I decided to walk over to the vending machines that sell the subway passes. I clearly had my pass already in my hand and the cop watched me act all sketchy and walk to the vending machine. Once there I realized that it was ridiculous for me to buy ANOTHER pass when I had just purchased an unlimited ride card in the morning. So then I turned around and walked back to the turnstile pretending as though I walked over to the machine out of confusion. As soon as I went to swipe my card through, the cop says “You, come here.”
My heart IMMEDIATELY starting pounding out of my chest and I said “Yes”?
Cop: “I need to search your bag.”
Me: “What if I say no? Then what happens?”
Cop: “That is your right, but then you have to leave the subway immediately.”
Me: (Realizing that I needed to get on the subway and that I needed to let him look into my bag – I came up with the perfect game plan on the spot) “Of course you can look in my bag. (I open my bag while still talking) I think it’s so great that you guys are checking bags and looking out for our safety.”
Cop: (Looking quickly through my bag, but obviously more interested in hearing me compliment him) “Thank you. A lot of people have a problem with it.”
Me: (Shutting my bag quickly and attempting to swipe my card) “Well I think it’s just great. (Screwed up my first swipe and tried again) Thanks again! I appreciate it.”
Cop: “No problem at all. Have a good day sir!”
I ran into the subway with my drugs safely tucked away in a side pocket. HOLY FUCK. I was petrified at that moment. I mean, what would have happened if he had asked to look in the side pocket of my bag and found the pot? Although I’ve heard from other people that they aren’t legally allowed to arrest me on the spot for that, I have a hard time believing it. I am sure that I would have been handcuffed and led out of the subway, convict style.
Needless to say, everywhere else I went last night, I took a cab. Sheesh! I don’t remember the last time I was that scared. I swear my sphincter was pulsating with fear. Had I been busted, I would have surely crapped my pants. And who wants to go to jail with poop in their underwear?
Yesterday was a very long day overall. I hung out with two different groups of people in a matter of 4 hours. It was rush rush and totally fun. When I got home at 11pm, I shoved my face with some leftover chicken and rice pilaf, washed my face and brushed my teeth and threw my self face down on the bed. I didn’t move until 6 this morning when I woke up feeling as though I hadn’t slept a wink. Luckily I laid there for an hour and a half stressing out about absolute nonsense. I fucking hate when that happens. I’ll tell myself to calm down and even try to clear my mind, but once I’m awake with anxiety, I’m awake for the duration.
Today I feel exhausted. I had therapy and the first thing I said when I sat down was “I got nothing for you today.” Sophie responded with “No problem at all. We can sit here in silence if that’s what you need today.” And I was like “Oh yeah. I paid $50 to sit in silence.” So then I talked to her about my frustration with hetero vs. homo. It was a really great conversation and the time kind of took off after that. Before I knew it, it was time to leave and get back on the overly crowded and humid subway.
Now I’m back at my desk and struggling to keep my eyes open. I have so much work to do today and although I’ve been busting my ass all morning, I haven’t really completed everything. It’s like I’m multi-tasking so well that I’m not entirely finishing any one thing. Now THAT’S effective multi-tasking.
Tomorrow I have to have lunch with my boss. It’s one of my most dreaded hours of the whole year. I can’t stand going to lunch with him. Probably because I can’t stand him. Whatever, I’ll suck it up and hopefully I won’t have to eat with him again for another 6 months.
Alright, I’m out of here. I’m even boring myself at this point.
